At 28 years old, I feel like I’ve experienced more than I needed to. I’ve had like five near death experiences; I’ve had to make tough decisions that I wake up regretting every day and to make matters worse, I keep finding myself in a lot of the same experiences. I think the greats call this insanity.
One of life’s most challenging aspects is understanding love + partnership with a significant other. I swear, in high school, it was so simple. Love meant holding hands, going to the movies, and the worst thing your significant other can do is cheat on you.
As I’m getting older, love is starting to mean tough conversations, holding your tongue for the sake of bruising your partner’s ego, understanding that there is a gray area that isn’t always the prettiest place to hang out in, realizing that sex more than a physical act–it’s 90% mental, knowing that honest and direct communication will make or break a relationship, etc.
Now, there are more nuances to love but–even then, I still welcome it with open arms. Why? Love has the power to transform and heal you. I once had a friend who said, “Sha, you are brave! You go into dating with the hopes of you establishing something long lasting. You don’t seem to be scared of externalities such as hurt, depression, weight fluctuation, internalized views about yourself and men in general, etc.” As endearing as his speculation about me was, he was kind of wrong. I’m terrified of love. It can be horrifying!
It’s 2017, and society still dictates where a person should be in their late twenties. If it were up to my family, I would have been married with two kids by now. But, by the grace of God, I’m not even close. Being married isn’t a life goal for me. Being happy and making others happy is a better fit for me. Does that mean I’m going to put a pause on love? NAH! I’m going to love harder than I’ve ever loved before. But not in search of the dream guy—in search of Chardline. I’ve been relationships that have changed me for the worst. I honestly lost more and more of myself with every relationship.
While this post is only PART ONE, I hope you guys follow me as I figure out what it means to take the time to and LOVE ME! FINALLY! I’ve identified six things that kept me from loving me. With each layer revealed, I am going to share some of the tips and revelations that led me to this impetus. I’m also low key excited that I’m going to partner with people who’ve watched me grow and break down for the past 10+ years. Visuals, Interviews, and Testimonies!
No fancy production here, but this project means more to me than you all know. And yes, we can talk about this dress! The reason why I had to roll out my “Turning a New Leaf” project with this dress by Teri Jon is that I am still a style blogger and partnering with brands who are turning new leaves of their own is especially near and dear to my heart! Teri Jon just rolled out their #JustMySize campaign. Check out their video to learn more about it.
Even though my dress is sold out, check out these Fall classics that I know you’ll see on the blog again!! I am wearing a size 20 if it helps for reference. Also, I found the same dress on Saks!
My shoes are from
Do me a favor? Hug yourself every night before you go to sleep. I promise it makes a world of a difference.
-Char.
You look Fantastic in this dress. Just about everyone experiences this life, but many never talk about it. THANKS so much!! Looking forward to more. .
Author
Thanks for the compliment! I can’t wait to share this journey with you. It really helps with the healing process.
Great post, love! So inspiring! I love your dress and the lace detail is very pretty!
Edwige | http://www.hypnozglam.com
Author
Thaks for the support hun!
This is a large part of my story so when reading it is always amazing not to feel alone and pumped at someone sharing the victory!!!
Author
Amen! I am so happy you came out swinging, hun!
Great post Char!! I always tell ppls that love is not for the faint of heart. Especially once marriage comes to play! It take work, patience and is ever evolving.
Author
Thanks Tameka! It’s def a tough road but when you love yourself and understand your worth and the value you bring to a relationship, you think clearer.
You look gorgeous in the dress!🙌🏾🎉🇭🇹…
Info on the shoes?? ☺️
Author
Thanks Danielle!
As for the shoes, here’s a link to similar styles: http://amzn.to/2wjcryW
Thank you for sharing your story. You look amazing.
Author
Thank you for reading, hun! It means a lot!
such a pretty and elegant dress, looks great on you!
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Thank you Sandra!!!
You are truly stunning. Love the dress
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Thanks Queen <3.
I love this post! Love is hard and figuring out what it means to you is even harder at times. You look stunning!
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Thanks Darlene!
I am excited to embark on this new journey!
Hi cha cha this is tatie Zette, I was just reading your blogs. Congrats on every thing, I’m so very proud of you. You’re looking so beautiful as always.
Love darling niece.