“Smile, you are taking a picture.” No. Last time I checked I was working out.
There was a period in my life where I did not want to workout in front of people. For some reason, when I look at fit gurus, I can never see myself in them. I always see a person who is thin and has epic facial features. But when I looked at myself, I saw a woman with lots of love handles and a double chin that wouldn’t cease movement even after I stopped moving. In the past, when I was asked to promote workout clothes but I always kept it pretty! Maybe 50% of the poses I did were meant to flatter my figure and give the illusion of working out like a boss! Why did I do that?
-insert Mr. Rogers storytime music here-
When I first started taking Zumba classes in 2010, I usually came too late to get a spot in the front of the mirror. Then one day, I got one! I was so excited to see myself go hard in all of my the glory. As we started to move, I found myself so disgusted with what I saw. I was well coordinated and even had all the moves down pack, but when I started to compare myself to the woman next to me, I couldn’t look at myself.
I saw that all three of my rolls were apparent in every waist move I did. I saw that my fupa would occasionally slip out of my leggings and assumed others saw it as well. I was so shocked that I never went back to the mirror and always danced to the furthest left of the class.
Then one day, the Zumba teacher asked if we wouldn’t mind being recorded . Absent-mind I said, “Sure, I love this song.” After she uploaded it on Youtube, my fears INSTANTLY went away. I WAS KILLING IT! I WAS KILLING IT HARDER THAN SOME OF THE SMALLER WOMEN TOO! At that moment, I saw that not only was I killing it, but I also wasn’t afraid to see my rolls and fupa fall out. Since then, all the workouts I do have been for myself–not caring for a single person watching or comparing myself to the person next to me.
So what does a fat girl look like when she’s working out? FUCKING FABOULOUS…just as anyone else who exercises their right to get their workout on!
Water Bottle: Amazon
Yoga Mat: Amazon
Huge thank you to Brad Bahner for the flicks! You can find his work here: http://www.bradbahner.com/
Til next time,