When you call a girl ugly, it does something to her perception. You see, at a young age, I was called ugly. Not just by the school kids on the bus or guys in high school, but by the people who I loved the most. “Want to lose weight so I can bring you to prom?” Or my favorite, “You would be so pretty if you lost weight.” The insults came in every way, shape and form but they all spelled out the same thing: YOU ARE UGLY.
2012 was my senior year of college. I took time to reflect on my 5 years of college and all the good times in between. I co-produced a fashion show with one of my good friends Tabitha, I was asked back to stay on the Mayor’s team full time, I finally received a passing grade in Statistics, I lost 45 lbs, and I was feeling good. That was until I went to my friend’s house and her mom said in Spanish, “Your friend is fat and ugly, don’t be bringing her around (shout-out to Mount Saint Joseph Academy for making me write essays in Spanish, apparently it worked).
Immediately, a rush of everything that didn’t work out for me came to mind. Although I lost 45lbs, my ex-boyfriend still didn’t want me back. That graduation dress I really wanted didn’t come in my size. Every time I went out to the club with my friends, I was the ugly duckling that guys didn’t care for—instead, they would say “So what’s up with your friend?” Thoughts upon thoughts started to flourish the day. I felt weak. I felt vulnerable. But then something happened that changed the game for me. No, my ex didn’t come back (he turned out to be a fuck boy, so guess who’s winning).
I realized that I wasn’t ugly. What made me ugly to others was that I didn’t fit the mold of what everyone wanted me to be. I was looking for the whole world to embrace me as a beautiful girl, when in fact—only I could do that for myself. When they world wanted me to be a size 6 with long straight weave, and snatched waist, I turned out to be a size 22 with kinky natural hair and big ole waist. I had to learn there was beauty in that. I had to learn that even though the “IT GIRL” was Kim Kardashian, I had something that Kim Kardashian could never have: ME. There’s no one that can make me feel as beautiful as I do, there’s no one that can make me as happy as I do, and there’s one that can make her man feel as happy as he is—at least not the Chardline way.
So you know what happens when you call a girl ugly? She finds her way and she lives. She finds her beauty and she shines. She rocks her naps, twerks a little bit, but finishes first because she comes second to none! So next time you decide to call a girl ugly, just know that her come back is going to be amazing!
Shout out to Rachel Pally for the amazing dress. As soon as I tried it on, it reminded me of that pivotal point in my life where I stopped crying and apologizing who I was. This dress reminds me to continue celebrating my beauty—the only way a desert flower would know how. Whenever you need to remind yourself that you are beautiful, wear a dress…it helps! To purchase, click the widget below!